Rumor has it that smoking can be hazardous to your health

I decided after my 29th birthday last week that it was time to quit smoking. I don't think I've ever legitimately tried to quit, I've talked about doing it eventually, but usually would make a joke that I would quit when I got knocked up. However seeing as I don't want to have a baby anytime soon or possibly ever, I can't rely on my potential spawn to help me kick this bad habit. So I'm doing it on my own, actually really trying to make a go of it and I've realized something very disheartening- it...is...hard. Yes, I knew this would be the case, I've seen others try to quit, actually quit, and talk about how hard it is to quit. It wasn't really a surprise but now that I've put my mind to it I'm experiencing it in the first person. And it sucks. I had ALMOST made it an entire week until Friday night when I had a little wine and caved. Why is it that alcohol and cigarettes go so good together? I can imagine smoking without drinking but not the reverse. I think that's going to be my biggest obstacle- drinking and not smoking. Frankly, it seems impossible. I guess I could quit drinking too, but I'm definitely not ready for that. How else would I get the veiled confidence and euphoria that only mass quantities of rum and coke can provide? Of course it has it's pitfalls too but I'm not in the mood to discuss that at this juncture. In fact I'm over talking about cigarettes as well. Nex topic. I recently received the following advice via a fortune cookie: To conquer your flaws, you must first accept them. Wow fortune cookie, that's pretty good compared to what I usually get, which is something along the lines of "a warm smile is a testimony of a generous nature." The thing is, I already think about my flaws so much that it has clouded my mind to the point that I can't see my strengths. So maybe if I just accept them I can move on? I guess I'll have to wait for another fortune cookie to tell me what to do next. Okay back to cigarettes. The thing is they are really disgusting when you take away the fact that they give me so much pleasure. Oh, and they can kill you. And contrary to popular belief, they don't make you look cool. I once caught an image of myself smoking in the side mirror of Emily's car as we were driving from Longview to Austin back in the day and what I saw didn't look cool at all. Apparently I make a strange face that resembles a stroke when I'm smoking. If I can't even benefit from the alleged cool factor, then what else is left? So basically cigarettes flaws are they following: they are disgusting, they can kill you, and they don't make you (or at least me) look cool. And I accept those flaws. I'm ready to move on.
Reagan